Relena in Wonderland by Shinigami Baby
Casting by Shinigami Baby
Author's Notes:

Okay, I'm taking my cue from Kat on that whole "Princess Bride" thing and decided it would be fun to do a Gundam Wing parody of something as well. I'm not "copying", perse, just having fun with this rather intresting idea. My parody isn't on a book, though. Mine's on that damn Disney creation Alice in Wonderland... wait, that WAS a book. Oh well, anyway, this is probably my first non-yaoi, non-shounen ai story. ::hears sighs of relief from yaoi haters around the fanfic world:: Hmm, maybe I'll change my mind... Okay, so here's how the casting session went......

Shinigami Baby is sitting impatiently in her director's chair, rubbing her foot on her dog's back. She seems to be enjoying the anticipation practically pouring out of the people who made it through rehearsals. She leans forward to get a better view of Duo's ass and falls out of her chair. All the actors turn around and look at Shinigami Baby. She smiles sheepishly and gets up. "Okay, I think you all have waited long enough. Here in my hand is are the parts I've assigned to minna-san." =^_~=

She grabs some tape from God knows where and tapes the list up to the wall, then runs back to her comfy director's chair as the actors come running to see what part they got. The first thing she hears is the very whiny and irritating Relena Peacecraft.

"WAI! I get to be Alice!" Relena shouts, doing a victory dance. "I get the leeeeead! I get the leeeeeeeeead!" Relena sings, playing bongos on poor little Quatre's head.

Quatre pushes Relena's hands off his head and rubs the sore spot she just made. He scans the list for his name. "I'm NANI?" Quatre shouts, causing everyone to back away. They remember all too well Quatre's WING ZERO experience and decide not to make him mad. Shinigami Baby just smiles.

Quatre pouts. "Why do I have to be the Mad Hatter? I'm not even mad!"

Duo nudges Quatre's side. "Heh, Trowa's the March Hare."

Quatre's face lights up. "REALLY?"

Heero sweatdrops as he turns from the list. "I'm the white rabbit?"

Shinigami Baby nods. "I figure that you run away from Relena so much, it would be the perrrrfect part for you, Hee-chan." She smiles widely. If there's one thing that Shinigami Baby loves, it's torturing Heero. Nothing is funnier than Heero's eye twitching. Heh heh.

Heero nods. "Mission accepted."

Everyone sweatdrops.

Duo climbs, literally, over everyone to see what part he gets. "SUGOI! I'm that caterpillar!!!"

Dorothy, Hilde, Noin, and Sally look at eachother. Dorothy speaks up. "We're flowers!?"

Shinigami Baby nods. "Mm-hmm."

Sally smiles. "At least I get to be the rose."

Noin clears her throat. "The rose is old."

Sally shoots the patented Heero Yuy DeathGlare(tm) at Noin. Noin smiles sheepishly and sweatdrops. Hilde rolls her eyes.

"Why can't I have a scene with Duooooo?"

"Because" Shinigami says "Duo didn't want any scenes with you. Haven't you read 'Duo Plays Cupid' or any of my other fics from GW this far? Duo doesn't like you, Hilde."

Hilde pouts and sits on the floor indian-style. "Well excuuuuuuuuuse me."

Duo runs up behind Shinigami Baby and hugs her. "Arigatou!!!!" he whispers, the runs away to the dressing room.

Milliardo Peacecraft in all his fine-ness walks over to the list. "Tweedle Dee!?"

Treize Khushrenada winks at Milliardo. "That's okay, I'm Tweedle Dum."

Milliardo's eyes get as big as saucers. "SHINIGAMI BABY!!!! CHANGE MY PART!!!!"

"Heh, sorry Zechsy, once it's in ink, it's in blood." She replied.

Milliardo sulks.

Wufei Chang popped his head infront of the casting list. He looked at Shinigami Baby. "Leave it to a WOMAN to do such an injustice as THIS!"

"..........?" Trowa asked.

Wufei pointed to the list.

Trowa raised an eyebrow and walked away, covering his mouth. He tried his best not to let the laughing come out. Wufei shook his fist and walked into the dressing room.

"Heyyy who's missing here? Where's Lady Une?" Shinigami Baby asked.

Trieze looked at the floor. "She's... not coming."

"NANI!?" Shinigami Baby asked.

"She knew exactly what part you were going to cast her for, so she left." Treize said.

Shinigami Baby folded her arms. "Hmph! Fine, then. The next Anime character that passes through that door over there is our Queen, then!"

Everyone stared at the door in anticipation.................................................................. no one was coming out of it. Suddenly, who pops in but Belldandy from 'Oh! My Goddess!'.

"Is this where we're shooting the show today?" Bell asked sweetly. Every guy in the room's eyes turned into hearts and they stared at her. Shinigami Baby frowned, a bit pissed.

"No, 'I Dream Of Goddess' is down the lot, this is 'Relena In Wonderland'. Now shoo!" Shinigami Baby demanded.

"HEY!" Duo shouted. "You said-"

"Shut it, Duo-chan." Shinigami Baby said.

Duo covered his mouth and nodded.

"Okay, the NEXT anime character to walk through that door is the Queen." Shinigami Baby promised.

As she said that, Chibi-Usa came strolling in. Everyone fainted.

"Have you seen my mommy?" Chibi-Usa asked.

Everyone shook their heads and pointed to the door, directing her to leave. Chibi-Usa turned around and left. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, The NEXT person-" Shinigami Baby started.

"I've changed my mind!" Lady Une said, running in.

Shinigami Looked up at the sky. "Thank GAWD!"

Lady Une ran into the girls' dressing room.

Shinigami Baby looked down at her scripts. "Hmm, still I need actors... Oh well, I'll just improvise." She said to herself. "OKAY MINNA-SAN, HERE ARE YOUR SCRIPTS!" She said through a mega-phone that she stole from Cait Sith.

Quatre plugged his ears. "Owww, that hurt!"

"Gomen ne, Quatre-chan." She apologized.

Quatre pouted and took his script. "Yeah right." He walked into the boys' dressing room, then ran out. "TROWA'S NAKED IN THERE!"

"Durr, it's a dressing room." Relena teased.

"But but but but-" Quatre stuttered. "I can't see my beatiful Trowa naked! I'll think awful thoughts and I won't be able to concentrate on my acting!"

"Fine, Quatre, go change with the girls." Shinigami Baby said.

All the girls looked worriedly at Shinigami Baby.

"Girls, trust me when I say Quatre isn't intrested, mmkay?" She reassured the very uncomfortable female half of the cast. They nodded hesitantly.

Quatre rolled his eyes. "I don't like you *women*, I only want Trowa."

The girls all looked at eachother and shrugged, then walked into the dressing room.

Shinigami Baby sweatdropped. This was going to be harder than she thought.

End Part 1

Heh, if you think that's messed up, wait 'till you see how awful these people are going to rape this story.... oi, I need an asprin. Part 2 is coming soon. Please review! Arigatou! =~_^=

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